Nobody read this yet... still writing...
It's one of those days: the ones where you never really wake up. There's no fast forward button and I can't get enough fun to speed things up. Everything is at least twice as hard... even zoning out or snacking. Torture!
Then when I think about it some more, I want to go home and be productive. I can feel the tension of the lawn mower throttle as I push the blades over a blend of grass and weeds. I'm excited by the thought of pulling the remaining fence posts, not attached to fence, out of the ground and storing them near the stack of lumber in the shed. I can't wait to reconnect the hose valve after I replace the cracked PVC elbow. Maybe then I'll have time to sit in the groovy studio and put down one of the dozens of newer, unrecorded ideas I've come up with in the past year. I could plan to go do some shows and haul the equipment around, meeting people and sharing what's in my heart.
Suddenly I'm reminded of the book "Wild at Heart" and get to thinking that my only problem is this environment. Usually, I'll kill myself for the PLEASURE of working hard... where the stink did that desire go? Why do I feel like I've been in middle school detention for the last 2 years? I'm tired of copying Aardvark out of the dictionary. I'd rather go to PE and run laps the entire hour.
On the other hand, the confusing one, I'm getting paid a lot of money to work half as hard as I can for 9 months out of the year. I get to surf 39% of the allowed internet pages out there and have even stealthed my way into working on game sprites when I'm free. This job is a blessing.
Is a blessing always the right thing?
I've worked hard since I got my paper route at age 13. Is this how 12 years of constant labor pays off? Throw me in a dungeon for half of my waking hours so I can try to squeeze ACTUAL purpose into the other half, when I'm wore out and frustrated, trying to recover from the first half?
No job's perfect... but if there is a "perfect" job, I just might be consumed by it. The hardships of any job are what make them enjoyable. Trials give way to investing ourselves. Victory gives joy; it brings purpose and satisfaction. That's why I only have fun at home. I can get things done at my own pace.
Yeah I totally read this man. :)
Off topic, but I wish we lived closer so we could play music together.
Posted by: Adam Robinson | Wednesday, May 06, 2009 at 09:48 PM